There are millions of children whose lives are affected by divorce every year. Even when a married couple argues all of the time and their marriage can be compared to World War III – that does not mean that a child will take their parents' divorce any easier.

Divorce can be very difficult on the parents even if it's for the best, and it can be hard on the children as well. If you are a parent who is getting divorced, there are steps that you and your spouse can take that will reduce the stress and minimize the long-term consequences for your child.

Ways to Ease the Transition

If you're divorcing and you have children, it's best that you and your spouse show a united front and maintain a positive attitude around your child, regardless of your marital conflicts.

When children of divorce see their parents treating each other with dignity and respect, it is much less stressful for them, and they tend to be more resilient through the transition.

Tips for helping your child manage the divorce:

• Never badmouth your spouse around your child
• Don't allow your child to disrespect the other parent
• Don't argue or have heated discussions in front of your child
• Keep your ex informed about your child's life: for example, parent-teacher conferences, sporting events, birthday parties, doctor appointments, etc.
• Don't let your child be the messenger, inform your ex directly about job changes, moving plans, and new partners in your life.
• Don't make your child's events awkward, instead focus on your child and not on being uncomfortable around your ex.
• Maintain consistent routines and disciplinary actions between households, this includes bedtime routines, homework rules, and consequences for bad behavior.

By its nature, divorce can be very emotional and that's okay. If you are going through a divorce, refrain from using your child as a shoulder to cry on. Instead, call on your adult friends, family, or a counselor for the support you need.