We all know someone who's gone through a traumatic divorce, whether as the spouse or a child of a bad divorce. But once in a while we'll meet a former couple who took a grief-filled experience and transformed it into a wonderful relationship.

If you and your spouse aren't right for each other, but you're good people who are determined to treat each other with decency and respect, here are some ways to end your marriage while keeping your relationship intact:

1. You can be close, but not too close.
While you may want to "stay friends," during a divorce closeness can lead to confusion. If you can be polite and respectful, that's great, but it's important to maintain a safe distance from each other while you conduct your divorce proceedings.

Hopefully after the divorce is final and you've established a new normal, your co-parenting relationship can blossom into a lasting friendship.

2. Hire an attorney/mediator.
Divorce lawyers prepare their clients for the worst, while mediators strive to resolve differences in a peaceful environment. If you're not fighting with your spouse already, hiring a sharky lawyer will almost certainly set the tone for a battle. Instead, hire an attorney who is also a divorce mediator.

If you have a good relationship, and you're both eager to work with each other, you should try divorce mediation. Not only will you save money, you're likely to feel a deeper sense of satisfaction with your divorce.

3. Do things as a family.
If possible, agree to spend time together as a family. Take the children to their favorite restaurant, or go on a hike together. Show the kids that you both still care about your family, and more importantly about them. While they may want you back together, at least you can prove to them that no matter what happens, they still have two loving parents who care about them.

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