The first day of the year can be one of the busiest for divorce lawyers. Many couples who knew they were going to split up still waited to do so because of the holiday season. But is it best to wait it out, or would peace be best preserved by getting the divorce over with as soon as possible? Of course, every situation is different, and there may not be a one-size-fits-all answer. One of the things that divorce cases have in common though is that divorce effects a whole network of people, and this effect can become even more pronounced over the holidays.
Experts have spoken on the effect that a divorce over the holidays would have on children. One expert, a child of divorce herself, admitted that her parents' painful divorce during the Christmas season always meant that Christmas is associated in her mind with that ugly split, an experience that is shared by many. And choosing the holidays as a time to divorce often means more backlash from friends and extended family as well, as after all, divorce at any time can be poorly received. But the holidays can be especially bad timing.
On the other hand, if you and your spouse already know it is over, getting through the holidays can be more stressful on everyone. The pressure of the holidays can be enough on its own to end a strained relationship. That being said, experts say that the holidays may actually present a good time to wait on such a painful decision. In fact, this delay can be perfectly timed to give couples a chance to see if their differences are actually reconcilable or not. If you are well past that point however, and you know that divorce is where you are headed, there are still ways to make it peaceably through the holidays, whether you initiate the divorce now or later. One key method of survival is to have friends and relatives you can rely on in this time; they can help you keep the right perspective and to be positive and productive. And of course, as this is the holidays, you can focus on others more than ever, which can further help you enjoy this season, even amidst the stress. If you have children, then both you and your spouse can make it your aim to focus on them. You can also model for your kids how to give to others in this season.
While this may or may not be the right time for you to divorce, you certainly can get prepared for the process, making it easier for whenever you do decide to go ahead with it. So be aware as you go full throttle into the holiday season that having divorce on the back of your mind could motivate you to act out of guilt. Even though you may be holding back so as to keep the holidays unspoiled, you may still be apprehensive; and this could leave a mark on your divorce. This could happen if your guilt gets you to overspend, giving extravagant gifts and making expensive promises. The difficulty of a divorce could only ratchet up if you come out of the holidays loaded with credit card debt, debts that you can easily avoid if you stay on top of things right now. Another way you can prepare for an impending divorce is to get your financial records in order. Get your tax returns, paycheck stubs, etc. so you can be ready to provide full financial disclosure. You can make your divorce easier by saving yourself time and avoiding debt.
Whether you do decide to hold off on the divorce until January or not, you and your spouse can also aim for a truce. You want to save your family and yourself from as much stress as possible, and one of the main reasons to delay the divorce for a month or so is to preserve the holidays after all. So you can try to prevent and defuse conflict, especially from having arguments in front of your kids. And you can further help keep the peace by freeing your schedule up from unnecessary obligations for the next few months. If you say no to some party invitations, if you decline certain school engagements, then you and your family can have more time to relax, and then more time to work on transitioning during a split.
For legal advice on how to prepare for a divorce, start finding the legal expert you will need on your side throughout the process. You can search this directory to find the excellent family law attorney you deserve today!