Couples divorce for a plethora of reasons. Most often the twosome cannot get along any longer because of verbal or emotional abuse, or a disagreement on a fundamental life value. Also, people have suggested that when a family member has cancer, it may heighten the chance of a divorce within the family. Studies speculate that parents who are watching their children suffer under the hold of cancer have a higher possibility of divorce. They tend to struggle with the financial pressure of medical bills, the shift in priorities when a child is sick, the time commitment to being with that child rather than each other, and the emotional trauma of watching someone that they love suffer.
Yet, Reuters Health recently did an intensive study on this exact subject to determine how much of these assumptions are true. Admittedly, they found that parents with children that have cancer do not have a higher divorce rate than couples with perfectly healthy children. A Copenhagen cancer research center says that people assume traumatic events lead to divorce. Yet the Reuters project determined that parents are able to cope with the pain, and rely on each other for comfort. They said that there are certainly couples that do split over the pain of tending to a child with cancer, but the rate is not higher than the national average.
Nationally, most couples do not stay married their entire lives. 50 percent of all couples in America will not remain married for over 20 years. Couples are marrying older, or bypassing traditional marriage in favor of living together. 11 percent of all women choose to live with their significant other instead of marry him. The average woman gets married at age 26, while the average man is now 28. One study states that higher educated couples married later and their marriage lasted longer.
To determine how cancer affects a marriage, the Reuters Health in Denmark used public registry data for the parents of 2,450 children with cancer. They compared these families to 44,853 parents who have cancer-free children. Over 20 years, the research group was able to observe these couples and watch their marriages in the face of adversity. The parent's employment and household incomes had a higher effect on their relationship than a child's physical health did.
The study also determines that if a child passes away from cancer this did not adversely affect a couple's marriage. The number of divorces in these circumstances was no higher than expected, a discovery that the research company finds reassuring. The Cancer Society remarks that this does not mean that couples do not have difficulties in their relationship after they have learned that their child has cancer. In fact, many families experience extreme stress and tension in these sorrowing circumstances. Parents who are struggling with their circumstances should try to get involved in a supportive community to help them through the trials.
Other sicknesses are more prone to cause divorce, such as a couple who learns that their child is autistic. One woman who writes on the behalf of NBC's Today column remarks that she has seen many fathers leave their wives when they hear that their child will have a permanent mental handicap. Sadly, illnesses can, in some cases, tear a marriage apart. Sickness is something that people never plan for, and even when they say "in sickness and in health" during their wedding vows, they are not normally considering the intense heartbreak, financial strain, and physical toll of dealing with a disease like cancer.