The Betz Law Firm Articles 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Try To "Win" Your Divorce

5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Try To "Win" Your Divorce

By David Betz  Apr. 11, 2019 7:36p

If you and your St. Louis divorce attorney are about to start a divorce proceeding, you might be angry with your spouse and seek to win your divorce. Unfortunately, this is the wrong mindset and adopting it will likely have a variety of adverse effects. Here's why.

Collaboration Breeds Fair Results

Anybody who has worked as a team before knows that effective collaboration results in favorable results. The same is true of divorce. When you engage in one, your mindset should be that you, your lawyer, your spouse, and their lawyer are all on one team. Your goal is to settle your dispute fairly, and the entire team should work to do so. If your partner matches this mindset, there is an excellent chance that you will both be satisfied with the result. That being said, your spouse could be unfair and try to take advantage. In that case, you can adjust your strategy, but you should always start with a collaborative mindset.

It Could Put You at Risk

When you try to win your divorce, you also attempt to make your spouse lose. This corrupts your negotiations and instills that same approach in your partner. The result of this behavior is them also trying to win, and when that happens, you are in danger of getting an unfair deal. This is one of the best reasons why you should adopt a more collaborative mindset. If you raise the stakes by trying to take more than you deserve, you risk getting much less.

Think of Your Children

Though not all divorcing couples have children, many of them do. In these cases, a contentious divorce can negatively impact the kids. Not only will they feel stress and sadness from their parents splitting up, but they could become a pawn in your battle with your spouse. Ultimately, feuding parents are horrible for a child’s mental health, so you should try to keep negotiations as civil as possible.

Settling Outside of Court

The primary goal of every divorce case is getting you the best deal. The priority that comes second is doing so outside of court. When you try to win your case by going to trial, your lawyer fees, time commitment, and resentment all rise significantly. This can have deleterious effects on both the divorce case and your day to day mood. When you shed a competitive mindset, you increase your odds of settling outside of court.

Your Mental Health and Future

Unless you are one of the lucky few, your divorce may be emotionally taxing. Still, there are methods that you can use to lessen that emotional burden. One of the most effective of them is treating your spouse with respect. If you try to win your case instead of collaborating, you will likely end up in a battle. That stress may affect your mental health now and into the future, so avoiding unnecessary confrontation is in your best interest.

However you feel about your partner, you should try your best to adopt a collaborative mindset during your divorce. Not only will this lead to a better legal outcome, but it will save you from a multitude of adverse consequences that are frequently caused by trying to win. Once you settle into the correct approach, your St. Louis family law lawyer can help you attain the best deal possible.

Other Recent Articles

How to File for a No Fault Divorce in Missouri

When filing for divorce, the grounds on which you make a claim are “fault” or “no-fault.” That means that you either blame the other spouse for the failure of your marriage, or you admit that no one ...
More Articles »

Is My Spouse Hiding Assets During Divorce?

When you get married to somebody, you become one legal entity. That means that you share just about everything: Money, assets, children, and more. When you get divorced, you need to split that legal ...
More Articles »

The Pros and Cons of Discernment Counseling

An unfortunate truth about marriage is that sometimes it must come to an end. One or both of the people involved feel that staying in their relationship is too painful, and they seek to end it. If ...
More Articles »
(314) 801-8488
120 E Lockwood Ave
St. Louis, MO 63119
Contact our office by email by clicking the button below: