Featured News 2018 Tips to Make an Amicable Divorce Possible

Tips to Make an Amicable Divorce Possible

As divorce becomes more common, our culture has stopped seeing it as a failure and started recognizing it as a legitimate way to make a new start. The way couples split up today is far different than the way they split up 40 years ago. Today, divorce has given rise to two new phenomena: co-parenting (or joint physical custody), and collaborative/amicable divorce.

Ever since states recognized the "no fault divorce," couples have been allowed to look past who 'caused' the divorce and jump straight to creating a solution. When we let go of the baggage of calling divorce a "failed relationship," we allow ourselves to address divorce constructively. The "amicable divorce" is the result of decades of spouses realizing that by working together, their separation becomes less costly and less painful.

Today's blog discusses what it takes to divorce amicably, and how you can steer your divorce toward the smoother, easier path.

How to Have an Amicable Divorce

Culture shifts led to collaborative divorce, where two people skip going to court in favor of the negotiation table. However, it requires bothpeople to meet willingly and discuss each of your needs in good faith. Not every couple has the maturity to handle it.

In fact, there are 5 commitments you both need to make for this to work:
  • Commit to putting your children's needs above your own
  • Commit to negotiating in good faith (sincerely, without malice)
  • Commit to not assigning blame to anyone for anything
  • Commit to focusing on solutions, not obstacles
  • Commit to respecting each other, especially when you're heated

When getting a divorce, there are two things to keep in mind: remaining calm will be more productive than acting angrily, and a divorce is not completely the fault of one person or the other.

When spouses remain positive, restarting your lives apart from each other can be healthy—and even if it's a little sad, it can be beautiful too. Children will benefit from parents that are able to co-parent rather than those that cannot stand to be around one another. Making the effort to stay on good terms throughout the separation process can help make the divorce easier on all involved, and encourage a positive post-divorce relationship.

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